Step Back

Step Back
by jlm121 and kel aka "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy"

She's been sitting there for a half hour now. She hasn't moved.

I'm having trouble reading her face, a mixture of nausea coupled with the faintest hint of a smile I know she'd deny. I know she's been through hell lately. I have witnessed some of it. It strikes me as odd to see her alone.

Without Corinthos.

They are a pair in my mind. Maybe a couple maybe not but they are usually together. Port Charles can't pinpoint when Sonny and Alexis became 'SonnyandAlexis', but seeing her in the park alone begs the question"what happened?"

Part of me knows what happened. Carly.

The mistress of the freak show had to show up for her own funeral. Then run out leaving Sonny to chase her along with half of Port Charles. That's the last time I saw Alexis alone. Still seated at the church. As her sister took off after the Smith kid, with Ned Ashton in hot pursuit, she just sat there. Like she's sitting here now.

Come to think of it the expressions are similar, of course in seeing the resurrected Carly, there was more disgust. I'm beginning to worry. It's not natural for her to be still so long. Her frenetic energy is infectious. She is always in motion, working, thinking, and moving constantly. To see her like this is unsettling. Something is wrong, but I have no right to ask. Do I? I wouldn't describe us as friends, perhaps colleagues. I respect her. She likes me, I know, but would she open up if I asked?

I am not going to find out lurking here in the corner watching her like I was on surveillance duty. Clearing my throat as not to startle her I speak breaking that strange quiet spell around her.

"Alexis, are you alright?"

Her eyes flash to mine. I know instantly I am not the person she wants to be standing there. If she even knows it herself. Then she shocks the hell out of me

"No."

I am not prepared for honesty. Whatever I though she was going to say, whatever scenarios went through my mind, Alexis Davis admitting to being anything less than good wasn't it. She considers me again. I think her honesty surprised her as well. She is about to back off. To hide again from me and from anyone else who might happen by, but I am not going to let that happen.

"You...want to talk about it?"

Her head tilts to the side as she looks up at me. She exhales.

"Yes."

Her eyes wander past me, as I join her on the bench. I sit down close to her, but not too close. I know this is a limited invitation.

"We're friends, right?" she half questions.

"Sure."

"No." she chuckles out. And it's odd that she'd laugh. "We're not friends."

"Alexis...."

"It's not personal, Mac. But let's call it what it is."

"What is it?"

"You are my...colleague, my peer....the police commissioner...."

"...And I've seen you naked."

"Once."

"Is that what you were going for?"

"It's a bit...."

"Only if you choose to make it..."

"Awkward"

I have put it out there. We were discreet. It was a one time only thing, but it barred us from ever having any sort of relationship other than a public acquaintance.

"Alexis, do you want to talk about it?"

She drags her eyes to mine. "Yes."

"Talk."

I wait for words to rush out like they always do from her but this is different. She chooses her words carefully.

"Something's happened."

"Something? Anything more specific?"

"Let me ask you, Mac, take a shotwhat's the most outrageous thing you can think of that could happen?"

I have no immediate response for her.

"Reach for the stars" she continues, a touch of sarcasm in her voice.

"Besides Luke Spencer involving you in a murder plot. My imagination is pretty limited"

"Think big." she says wryly.

"That leaves Sonny."

She snickers. "Doesn't it always."

She pauses, then speaks again.

"It's personal."

"Did he hurt you?"

"Not intentionally."

"Alexis, are you okay?

She squares her shoulders and looks at me.

"Mac, I'm pregnant."

You know how you have those moments where everything slows down? This was one of those moments. For a moment I think this is some tremendous joke. Alexis Davis being wacky. But then I reconsider everything that we have said. She is pregnant and it's Sonny's.

Son of a bitch.

She stands and moves away slightly.

"That's the first time I said it out loud."

Her arms are wrapped protectively around her midsection and I realize that this is a new reality for her. And I am the first person she has shared it with.

"What? No congratulations?"

"If that's what you want, but i don't think you'd be sitting alone in the park if it were."

"Care to give me some pointers on how I am supposed to act. What I am supposed to want"

"How do you feel?"

She looks at me like I am completely insane.

"How do I feel? I'm...pregnant...enceinte...knocked up..."

"It's not the end of the world..."

"Oh really? Are you even hearing me?"

"You're pregnant. You're knocked up. I know it's not mine."

She smiles, involuntarily at first but it grows to a grin.

"You sure about that Commissioner?"

I smile back. "I think I'd definitely remember that."

She shakes her head in mock annoyance.

"It's Sonny's, isn't it"

"We...go together."

"And now..."

"Now?"

"Now...it doesn't matter. Carly...is back."

"She's alive, Alexis. That doesn't mean she is back in Sonny's life. She's not even his wife anymore."

"Haven't been over to the Harborview towers recently, have you?"

"No.... not my part of town."

"Carly is back. And I...did what I always do. I was the good friend, the noble one, and I stepped back."

"Why?"

"Because that is what I do."

"Who says? Where is it written that you, Alexis Davis, have to be noble and suffering?"

Her chuckle is more pronounced. And then she is silent and almost solemn, "Because...it's what I do."

"You shouldn't."

"You don't know him."

"I agree with almost nothing the man has ever done. But you."

"Me."

I can't say this to her sitting so far away. I stand up and just move next to her

"How he got you into his life I'll never know. How he's kept you there, I'll always question. How he got your heart...well...I'll always be jealous."

"Mac..this isn't helping."

"I didn't say I wanted to help"

"What do you want?"

"I sat down to listen."

"You did. And I invited you to."

"And you told me. Did it make you feel any better?"

"Does it get easier?"

"Considering that you told me...someone you barely knowI'd say it will be easier the next time"

"Yes, but I may not have seen them naked."

"You have to tell him."

"You gonna make me?"

"I just might."

"How?"

"How? I'll haul him down to the PCPD if need be, and lock the two of you in a room."

"That's illegal imprisonment without just cause and due process."

"I'm scared."

"You should be, after my lawsuit, the baby and I would be set for life."

"Alexis..."

"Mac? I would never not tell him. I...could never do that to him."

"I know. It's not who you are."

"I'll figure it out."

"You always do."

"I guess I should say thank you,"

"I didn't do much."

"You stopped. You listened."

"I wanted to."

"Mac. . . I. . ."

"Don't worry about it."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome Alexis"

She looks towards the park entrance. The look of nausea is gone, and the smile is slightly more prominent.

"Congratulations."

Her smile widens and she seems more comfortable in her skin. Her hand grasps mine and she leans in and places a soft kiss on my cheek. When she pulls away her expression is even warmer.

I choose to go for broke and place a soft kiss on her mouth. She is in love with another man and carrying his child. Her lips are soft under mine and she does not pull away. But in the second after we part, it is clear. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, but her heart is taken.

She nods and steps back. "I have to go."

"Do you need a ride somewhere?"

"I've got it."

"Don't wait too long, Alexis."

"Thanks again for the ear, Mac."

I watch her as she leaves the park. More confident than she had been. More stable. She doesn't know what is next, but something is about to happen. She's a hell of a woman. If Corinthos screws this up...he's more stupid than I ever thought.

And if you do screw this up Corinthos, maybe next time I won't let her step back.

*finis*