Boundaries
by kel and jen
She isn't.
She can't be.
She wouldn't lie.
She doesn't lie.
"Pregnant."
"Yes."
"Pregnant?"
"Pregnant. Can we stop saying it?"
Pregnant.
My God I sound like an idiot.
She's pregnant.
Alexis is pregnant.
And the only reason she told me was because
Alexis..."
"Yes, Sonny. Yes."
She answers me without question.
My child.
Our child.
My first instinct plays out and I rise to move towards her.
She tries to step back but she is already pressed against the door.
"Don't touch me."
"Alexis. . .."
"I...can't...do...this...with you touching me. You've got that look in your eyes."
"What look?"
"That...look. That...baby look."
I have to smile. At her, at her words
"That. . .baby look?"
She rolls her eyes, but her mouth tugs up in a grin.
"The baby look. I'm not elaborating. You know what I mean."
Every muscle, bone, fibre in my body wants to touch her right now, but she's clinging to the door for dear life.
She's scared.
She's scared of me.
"Alexis?"
She exhales. I have stopped reaching for her.
But she hasn't moved away from the door.
"So. That's the big secret. We're pregnant."
We're.
"Funny you don't look nauseous."
"Excuse me?"
"You said we. I have yet to see you throw up, your ankles swell, or any other signs that you're pregnant."
"I'm pregnant...I'm...don't play the pronoun game with me, Sonny."
"Are we playing?"
"There are some things that have to be talked about. Terms.
Boundaries."
She's shutting down again.
She's shutting me out again.
"Terms? Boundaries? This is about a child."
"It was about a child before too, remember? Your rights? This is familiar territory."
Ouch.
"This is...different."
"Explain to me how this is different?"
I love you.
"It just is."
"Well said."
Now I need to sit down. I sit in the chair she vacated and she peels herself off the door and sits down across from me.
Is this how this works?
We deal in life and love over a table in the PCPD?
Seems oddly fitting for us.
"It's different because it's our child."
"Our child."
I cannot tell if she is crying or laughing, but her shoulders hunch over
and shake.
Mac's a dead man.
"Alexis?"
Her head flips up and laughter peals out.
Question answered.
"Alexis?"
"Our..." she laughs. "Child. You and me. The mobster and his mouthpiece. The don and the princess. They make movies about this kind of thing."
She's smiling, and I allow myself the pleasure of smiling back at her.
My hand closes over hers and she brings her eyes to mine.
To hell with boundaries
"I would never keep her from you." she whispers.
"Her?"
"I have a feeling."
A little girl.
With dark hair and her mother's eyes.
She's letting me touch her. It is something small, but it is something.
It's a start.
"We're not doing this here. Not in this interrogation room that we've
been locked in. There is a lot to talk about."
"Yes."
"Ok. But not now."
"Not now."
She nods, and I can't resist the urge to make her smile again.
"So, any chance of your boyfriend letting us out of here?"
The exasperated look she gives me is worth the pain of the whole day.
"You mean my fiancée?"
Score one for the lawyer.
We smile at each other, and for a moment, things are almost normal.
It's a start.
*finis*
